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LWDRS + interview + eggs! + quiz + one-on-one + motherland + i am a goddess + fabuloso + witch design

i've been avoiding this space.

i suppose i could find reasons for this, but i think general apathy and a less than poetic mindset are a good umbrella. for example, do you really want to hear about the miracle of the body shop's sunless bronzer? a night of driving in circles as i mark yet another potential home off my list? court dates or vacation days?

my life is so boring right now. i mean, it's probably because i'm happy and i spend at least an hour every day working on my novel and it's hard to have any umph left over for you. i try to pour so much emotion and passion into my characters, and into my life, that i am drained. i'm happy, but i'm drained.

i'm taking a painting class in a few weeks. it was gonna be a banjo class, but, alas, i have no access to a five string unless i wanna buy one - and i don't. so, it's watercolor for me. actually, i'm wavering between watercolor and one stroke. anyway, later in the summer i'm doing a photography intensive with this retire professor from chapel hill. you know, cause i NEED to feed my soul and good lovin' only takes you so far. i need to create. my characters spin themselves and i don't feel much control over their direction... i'm merely the conduit. i want to compose and develop and crop and tint and stain. i want to brush color into shades of life.

have you ever know someone with no faith? do you know how to deal with a person who is spiritually empty inside? as an artist, i don't understand those people. how can there be so much life, so much beauty, in this world and yet you believe in nothing but yourself. how can your eyes not water in the presence of the mystic, the majestic, the utterly unknowable? how can you not feel connected to even the smallest element of this world? why live if in doing so you are so completely devoid of essence?

these are the questions i'm battling right now cause i've found myself wrapped up in a person who has shut himself off to the soul, to the spirit, to the essence of this life. he doesn't see the beauty in a sunset or the tragedy of a dragonfly. and as a creator, i don't know how to be so full around someone so empty.

is this my weight to bear?

you got something to say?