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i see: dingy work pc, diet coke can, lil pic of me and exS.O., beth orton cd cover I need: (globally) another vacation, (locally) an oil change, a fan, and a personal assistant I find: that honesty can kick you in the ass. I want: a new drug... or, a doctor who makes house calls so i don't have to miss work to take Javi for his shots. I wish: i could go to hawaii in july to take care of katilena at the finish line, there are many others of less importance I hate: condescension, people who like to be victims, martyrs, rudeness, ungratefulness, and bullshit. I miss: Lil Mike, Kati, Georgia I fear: unemployment, my court date I feel: hyper, free I hear: beth orton, the keys clicking, thebeths telephone ringing ringing ringing I smell: Waterfall Mist I crave: kisses, love I search: to belong, anywhere, but mostly in my own skin I wonder: when i will let go I regret: placing my desire to Help over the sacredness of my family and my home When was the last time you ... Smiled?: a few mins ago on the phone with my lil sis who is jacked up on 750 mg of steroids and drank a 2 liter of coke for breakfast Laughed?: i laughed so hard this morning i had tears in my eyes Cried?: i can't remember, oh wait- I cried halfway through Monster's Ball Bought something?: neosporin, calamine lotion, visine and chocolate pudding cups yesterday afternoon. then there's always the WIC check (milk, eggs, cheese) Danced?: it's been too damn long; but i danced a little salsa at the beach Were sarcastic?: when am i not? Kissed someone?: yesterday morning, around 6:45am Talked to an ex?: last monday Watched your favorite movie?: hmm, i haven't seen crybaby since i watched it on tnt with kati, back in revere... so maybe a year and a half? Had a nightmare?: i can't remember, but i've been having some crazy ass dreams What was the ... Last book you read?: "Fall on Your Knees" by Ann-Marie MacDonald and "God's Snake". Last movie you saw?: Monster's Ball (not including this weekend's porn selection) Last thing you had to drink?: diet coke Last time you showered? this morning Last thing you ate?: apple walnut scone Do you... Smoke?: not in two days... but when i do it's newport lights Do drugs?: alcohol, weed every now and then, nothing else. Have sex?: as much as possible Sleep with stuffed animals?: nope, never have Live in the moment?: i'm learning Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no Have a dream that keeps coming back?: yes, revolves around a garden Play an instrument?: i wish (hey, i should go list that above!) Remember your first love?: too well Still love him/her?: if i only knew Read the newspaper?: when time, and my attention span, permit Have any gay or lesbian friends?: who doesn't? Believe in miracles?: my sister is a miracle (for those who get it, tell ash, she'll love it!).. but seriously, yes, i do Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: no Consider yourself tolerant of others?: too much at times Consider love a mistake?: no Like the taste of alcohol?: certain types Have a favorite candy?: caramel Believe in astrology?: yes Believe in magic?: yes Believe in God?: i believe in a Spirit Pray?: when it suits me Go to church?: no Have any secret?: of course Have any pets?: not since Georgia, bless her heart Go to or been to college?: Oh yeah Talk to strangers who instant message you?: nope Wear hats?: no, i wind up look like gallagher Have any piercings?: my mother had my ears pierced at a very young age. i don't wear jewelry of any kind (save some bangle bracelets every once in a while). i find jewelry too extraneous... like curtains. i don't need extra. Have any tattoos?: no. see above. Hate yourself?: only when i allow myself to be used/taken advantage of, and when i don't follow my instincts Have an obsession?: too many Collect anything?: books Have a best friend?: one for each period of my life Wish on stars?: i wish on eyelashes Like your handwriting?: yes Have any bad habits?: procrastination, speaking without thinking, expecting too much from people Care about looks?: yes, but i've realized it's not as important as i thought it was Believe in witches?: definitely Believe in ghosts?: i've got proof of that one, so YES
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this is today's entry
playing:
reading: White Teeth
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