update + backtrack + sign + extras + notes + contact + yours truly + mi gente + fucklist + BOOK + wishes

LWDRS + interview + eggs! + quiz + one-on-one + motherland + i am a goddess + fabuloso + witch design

my agenda:

1) finish reading the resource material for the article that WAS due today, but is now due monday.
2) deposit ms. bot's cash money.
3) have something scrumptious at schlotzky's for lunch. between bites, discuss the current state of Life with eesha.
4) burn the Trik Turner cd that i was supposed to have burned last night. to night do it will constitute yet another example of my heinous short-term memory.
5) refrain from devouring the moose tracks ice cream that will appear in my freezer.
6) clean my room.
7) wash my dirty ass laundry
8) clean out my car.
9) clean my dirty ass car.
10) wallow in javi-awayness.

i'm not going to set unrealistic expectations for myself. i'm pretty sure that i can have at least 25% of this done by sunday afternoon. if not, well... i have my whole life ahead of me.

i have a small crises brewing. emphasis on the word small here. the ex-s.o. and i talked for a couple hours after i got home from survivor [can you believe they voted gina?]. he still makes me feel giddy inside, but in a less intense way than a year ago when i gave him the age-old ultimatum: all me or no me. he chose no me while whining about how i didn't really want to be with him anyway.

now, giddiness aside. he's coming. not tomorrow. nope, next weekend. and how could i not say, of course you can stay here?

my one weakness is the way that boy smells. i mean, i don't know if it's phermones or just awesome hygiene, but just smelling him sets me over the edge. and during sex, i would bury my face into one nook or the other and just inhale/exhale his scent until i came.

and large supple moist lips. and dark chocolate brown eyes. and an ass that don't quit. and way we just stare into each other without noise...

we haven't been together for a year. one year. well, one year in july. i know that we won't be together again. i know this. my body knows this. it's just the memory of having him so close that drives me crazy.

cause there's another boy in my life right now. and this one treats me like a goddess. this one is teaching me the art of simplicity, the art of knowing thy self and being proud of that. this boy gives and gives and gives and doesn't ask for anything.

this boy induced my very first triple orgasm. with his tongue alone.

the ex is one of the my best friends. the new boy knows me better than anyone else in my entire life. that includes my mother. it includes my lil sister. the new boy brought me a heating pad when i was 14 and cramping from the abortion.

he knows. everything.

so, the question is: do i explain to him that the ex is coming and will be spending the night (new boy and i have no monogamous commitments or expectations, but we do spend like 95% of our time together)? or do i lie to him (which would spare me the guilt of having to deny/hurt him because of the ex's presence)?

you got something to say?